Gifts and Balance

 The topic of fairy gifts - both those we give to them and the ones they give to us is something that is often talked about but usually either in abstract terms (what to do) or interpretive terms (what does this mean). Here I'd like to talk a bit about my impression of the importance and seriousness of gifts among the Other that I deal with. 

white snail shell, found at Clara House, 2019

That the Good Folk give gifts is certain and something we find mentioned across folklore and anecdotal accounts. In older accounts these are always things that have a practical value and can include tangible objects like money or herbs and intangible things like knowledge and skill. These gifts are not what we in modern Western culture tend to think of as a 'gift' because we come from a perspective that a gift is or should be freely given and have no 'strings attached' as it were. What we find in the examples we have however is that the strings are a part and parcel of the gift. Thomas of Erceldoune is given clothing and the gift of true-speaking but it is a payment for services rendered, and arguably to bind him to return to Elfland. Betsy Dunlop is given knowledge and skill to become a cunningwoman but is bound to serve the Fairy Queen. And some say that musicians who are given skill by the Good People lose their physical sight for it. Even fairy lovers follow this pattern, giving the gift of themselves in exchange for the human partner taking on geasa, or prohibitions.

Gifts are a serious business and how serious is directly in proportion to the importance of the gift. Little things like finding items as a sign or answer to a question have a small strings and may be in return for things already given by the human. Bigger things like healing or luck have bigger strings, and by bigger I mean both potentially heftier as well as possibly more long term. 

As my friend among Themselves puts it: "All things have a cost and no gift is truly free. An exchange should be a true exchange with both parties giving something and gaining something in proportion. The physical union of two people is such an exchange, the caring between souls is such an exchange, and giving gifts is such. When a gift is given one is also received and if it is not then something must be compelled to maintain balance. Many times when humans perceive us stealing or taking from them it is not that we are doing so in truth but that we are correcting imbalance by taking what we were rightfully owed because it was not properly given. Reciprocity is a concept to humans but it is intrinsic to us, part of our nature. Of course when we engage with humans or other beings outside the structure of gift giving there are different rules, one would not be bound to reciprocity in battle or the market or with ones food as such. But to engage with another through the medium of exchange, through gifts, is a fine dance of giving and receiving. It binds spirits together in specific patterns and creates relationships and obligations. One must never take such things lightly but respect the force they carry."

I did wonder if giving a gift forced or required engagement and her response was divided based on who was giving. She seemed to feel that if a human gave an unwanted gift, then there was often a layer of rudeness involved where taking it didn't require recompense but was in itself a way to return balance by viewing the unwanted gift as an apology for the rudeness. In other words you can't compel the Good Folk to owe you something by giving them something they didn't want to begin with because even if they accept it you've already changed the parameters so that what you gave them isn't a gift but an apology. On the other hand she did imply that humans taking unasked for or unexpected gifts did indeed bind them to this exchange and that if the human didn't offer a return then the Good Folk could choose what they wanted. 

Its a complicated subject but I hope this sheds a bit of light on things, at least from one perspective.