Sexuality and Gender Among the Other

 This is something of a hot topic among people interested in the Good Folk, so I thought I might as well express an opinion on it. I've already written about Sex and Love in the Otherworld, so this isn't going to be that aspect of things but the broader ideas of sexuality and gender, as I'm familiar with them in the context of the Otherworld. 

For some background, we have quite a bit of folklore about the Good Folk and both gender and sexuality - my personal experiences confirm some of that folklore in some ways and may contradict some of it in other places. For a deeper background into the more provable or documented aspects of this subject I suggest my article "Sexuality and Gender Among the Good Neighbours". What follows here is not confirmable and represents only my own experiences.

Sexuality - My own perceptions of sexuality among the Good Folk is that there is a wide range of expressions, wider perhaps than the human world usually embraces. I might loosely categorize the bulk of it as omnisexual, with the only real vital factor relating to consent and ability to consent. My personal observations have been that while the Othercrowd have a very different idea of what consent is they do require it as a prerequisite for most everything. As long as the parties involved are capable of consent and have given it then everything else is a possibility so to speak. Sex is treated as both extremely sacred and also something that should be enjoyed and celebrated frequently and enthusiastically (the enthusiasm is an important aspect) by those who wish to do so. 

Consent - speaking of consent, we may as well sidestep into that for a moment. So I say that in my experience consent with the Other is different than the human concept and that's actually a really critical thing to understand. The modern human understanding of consent is that it should be freely given and can be retracted at any time under any circumstances. The Other concept is rooted in agreeing to a thing and being held to that agreement - and if you agree under duress or perforce, through extortion or under threat, you are agreeing and its the agreement that matters. In the same way once that agreement is given it is not retractable in the same way that human consent is supposed to be. In order for consent to be withdrawn with the Other both parties must agree or must renegotiate the original agreement. If this sounds very contractual it is. Its also why I always caution people about dealing with the Good Folk. 

Gender - Gender among the Good Folk is an interesting concept in my experience. I have encountered beings that are very clearly and strongly gendered and for whom that gender seems to be an intrinsic aspect of their identity, as well as beings who are fluid in their gender and impossible to pin down or even define. I've encountered at least one being whose gender is best described as that of a plant. What makes this subject more nuanced in my opinion is that the ones that are very strongly gendered may also be the most enthusiastic at overthrowing or contradicting gender roles in the contemporary human culture around them. 

Relationships - while we are here we may as well also touch on relationship structures. I have seen some examples of what we might call polyamory, more of open relationships (two committed partners who also take other casual partners), many who simply enjoy whatever sexual experiences they can get but don't have romantic relationships, monogamy, and those who seem to have no interest in sexual or romantic relationships at all. Monogamous relationships are very strictly monogamous from what I have observed, probably because it involves oaths which the partners lose honour by violating. Friendship is of course also a common relationship. 

Ultimately its a very complex subject, with a lot of layers and nuances. I can only really touch on a small part of it here, but I hope that this helps with a wider understanding or at least a starting place. And as always other people may have different opinions or experiences with this, what I'm writing here is just my own observations. 

Point Of View

 There are a lot of different views on the subject of modern interactions with the Good Folk by various names and versions. I by no means think my experiences are the template for all others nor do I think they are unique - I feel like just with humans everyone has their own stories to tell. At least as much as I can publicly tell about these sorts of things. I do often find myself feeling out of step with others who publicly share their gnosis or experiences with these beings in part because much of the material I see is either framed as coming from beings that are entirely helpful and focused on human spiritual evolution or framed through a lens where the human is the more powerful force speaking for a group of Otherworldly beings that need protection. 
I find neither of these applies at all to my experiences or encounters.

me being goofy at the phallological museum in Iceland, 2018

The beings I am connected to are not tiny little nature spirits, not stereotypical children's' story characters, nor are they higher spiritual beings seeking to guide humanity into a more enlightened state. They are simply Other, nonhuman and in many ways inhuman. They do look fairly human in appearance, in the same way that, say, a wolf looks like a dog, but they clearly aren't and as far as I've been able to tell with the majority of the ones I deal with they never have been human at all (worth noting because some among the Good People started out human and were changed). They can interact more directly with humans and they can definitely and noticeably effect humans. I've seen and experienced amazing healing through them - literal, physical healing - but I've also seen and experienced illness and destruction. They are powerful enough that while I respect them and love them I am also wary of upsetting them. 

I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea here - as I've seen various opinion pieces floating around the internet about abusive relationships with deities and spirits - I'm not afraid of the beings I'm connected to. I belong to Them and that puts me in a very particular dynamic with Them. But while I may feel a degree of protection or safety with the ones I specifically have a connection to that doesn't change my respect for what they can and will do, or make me feel impervious with all beings of the Otherworld. I love thunderstorms but that doesn't mean I run around in metal armour swinging a golf club during one. 

My own Otherworldly people, as it were, are definitely not interested in humans becoming more spiritual or more evolved. They tend to show a marked disdain for humanity in general and disapproval of humans as a group. Individual humans are a different story, but humanity en masse they are at best indifferent about and at worst amused by wider struggles. When they give me things in dreams it is usually material relating to either serving them better or magic of a protective or cursing nature. They are fairly clear, always, that their interests are their primary concern and when they are moved to address anything else it is because, ultimately, that also serves their interests - a far cry from the seemingly selfless and altruistic beings some other people seem to be relaying messages for. I sometimes cringe to repeat things my group have told me, because I know it won't be appreciated by those around me - and yet this is an honest depictions of who they are, and perhaps a necessary counterpoint to the louder voices. 

Why am I saying all of this here? Because as I move forward with this blog I want my readers to understand the beings I am dealing with, at least to some small degree, and to understand that I am presenting one viewpoint on a much larger subject for which there are many different opinions and views. Mine is not the only correct one but it is also just as valid as everything else out there.